Fatima was my love at six.I remember Redondo Beach
was full of
These Poems are dedicated to Gordon's wife:
Virginia Wagner
Fatima was my love at six.
I remember Redondo Beach
was full of
FATIMA IN THE PENNY ARCADE
When I was 12 and '29
I wore a conductor's change belt on my belt
when my eyes were not focused on Fatima
I made change in the penny arcade.
Fatima wwsmy love
Fatima was so sad
she was so beautiful
especially in the late afternoon
when a ray of sunlight
filtered through a crack in the roof.
She was surrounded by ugly machines
strength testers, shocking machines
usually men pushing and pulling to show off
girls giggling when they rang
the he-man bell
Old men cranking the flicking picture machine
while the rest of the family
worked at the Erie Digger Claw Monster.
The good prizes were glued down
that was part of my job.
The whole family would stand in complete shock
when they realized they had spent five dollars
worth of nickles
and
only received
fifty chocolate peanuts
in exchange.
I would look at Fatima
she was ignored and sad.
I would lure these people toward her
no one cared
no one saw her beauty.
My job was to make a change, keep things moving
cheat if necessary.
This was hard for me
now and then I would short change a customer
to make Fatima dance
I would lose mtself in ecstasy.
When she stopped
Fatima and I would be surrounded by
lurching winos and victims of sterno canned heat
all standing stupified
looking like secret service men.
One time I became so obsessed
I stole Fatima away to the back room
I made her dance to five nickles
she seemed to glow and smile
while I masturbated.
I never read any of the fortune cards she ejected
I wonder what they told me.
THE GIANT DIPPER
The Giant Dipper
a roller coaster to remeber
so curvasious
DREAM
When I was eighteen
I dreamed off a
RACE THROUGH THE CLOUDS
They were tearing down the Venice Pier.
Nothing was there anymore
only a bleak white beach
rotting planks
a strong smell of urine
one structure half standing
tracks spiralling to the sky.
Two clouds, as if they were talons
reaching down from the sun.
There were four signs
KEEP OUT
THE BALL OF MIRRORS
A ballroom full of gargoyals and griffins
clouds and stars were on the ceiling
red velvet and mirrored walls
a revolving bandstand
a ball of mirrors
casting
prismatic light across the dnacers.
When I was six years old
I stood at the rail
watching the dancers.
I would stare in the ball of mirrors
searching for my face
NIGHTMARE
Dreams
Of the dark places
Corners of horror
Dreams of death
Fear of death
Funerals at night
Funerals moving over one another
Open graves
Shrouds
Lines of funerals
Marble lined mausoleunms
Flower odors
Sounds of trolly bells
Black suits on people
Without faces
Hearses standing with
Open doors
Waiting.
THE AWAKENING
A sunny morning
A cemeatary
deep in Mexico
the earth, the sky
welded together
A cross
weathered
polychromed.
When I look down
the skeleton of a dog
lay on the grave.
"He was faithful to his master"
I said.
I faced the sun
the light was bright
I knew then for the first time
death was natural
and
not to be
a
nightmare
anymore.
SLEEPING WOMAN
Looking through an iron cross
A sunny morning
Pink monuments among blue monuments
White monuments among white clouds
Pink clouds among blue patches
Crosses of stone
Crosses of wood
Crosses with carved names
Crosses with burned names
Crosses with painted names
All shimmering.
A woman in black
Sleeping
Her black parasol
Against a pink cross.
The call of a dove
The sound of the wind
Then all is still
Through the iron cross.
THE DAY OF THE DEAD
Day is turning into night
the streets and the cemetaries
are
full of people
People sawing
People painting
People sweeping
People walking
carrying wreaths
